youremybrandnewday:

eva-420:

eva-420:

bastard keeps sprinting to get ahead of me then walks really slow so i accidentally kick him and then meows all pathetically like i attacked him

This Cat Commits Insurance Fraud

I’m sorry, does your cat’s name tag say “hello my name is bastard”

theload:

thecaffeinebookwarrior:

nerdwarningalert:

russiacore:

why the fuck is no one naming their children after greek goddesses? Name your fucking child Persephone?????? Bitch???????!?

If that makes you happy, my name is Demeter

In my experience, people named after Greek goddesses are some of the most ethereal, chaotic forces I have ever encountered.

Our Art Department’s nude model, for example, is a woman named Hera. She’s stunningly beautiful, rides a motorcycle as apparently her only vehicle, grows all her own food, and keeps bees, turtles, and a dog named Argus, who she walks around town with a peacock feather attached to his leash.

I am thoroughly convinced she is not of this realm.

I’m pretty sure you just met Hera.

icedsilver:

tilthat:

TIL plants make caffeine to defend themselves against pests. Caffeine is toxic to birds, dogs, cats, and it has a pronounced adverse effect on mollusks, various insects, and spiders.

via reddit.com

Coffee plant: *evolves caffeine* Safe at last

Humans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

greynasdire:

firstbook:

goodqueenalys:

Me *reading my fluffy, tropey, happy ending, feel good fanfics*:

Don’t judge us!

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

professorsparklepants:

chucktaylorupset:

professorsparklepants:

professorsparklepants:

Can we have a Harry Potter AU where Regulus Black is the Death Eater spy turned potions master instead of Snape?

I can’t believe I only JUST realized all the comedy potential that is Sirius showing up to kill Peter 3rd year and finding his supposedly evil brother working at Hogwarts and having civil conversations with Remus about Harry’s grades

Please let this be after a full year of awkwardness of Regulus working with his evil brother’s ex

Sirius and Regulus are both convinced they’re the good brother

flipyeahkelly:

terry crews could lift Thor’s hammer rb if u agree