There is nothing more bittersweet and heartbreaking than a character who is deeply in love with another but entirely convinced that despite their current romantic relationship (established or not) that they wonât get a happily ever after because they arenât good enough and the person they love will realize that and leave them but they arenât bitter or angered by this idea but calmly resigned. Like they love that person so much theyâre okay with just being a placeholder for someone better, as long as they can stay by that personâs side despite believing one day theyâll be replaced.
me, a femme, tacking a rose and a sports bar gift card onto a fishing line and casting it out into a lesbian bar: find me a butch girlfriend
me, a butch, tacking a rose and a sephora gift card onto a fishing line and casting it out into a lesbian bar: find me a femme girlfriend
Me, a femme, hanging out at the lesbian bar with my butch gf, frantically tangling your fishing hooks together so when you try to reel them in its like the spaghetti scene in lady and the tramp: find eachother you sweet, beautiful, useless lesbians
If the art side of Tumblr doesnât turn this into a mini-comic then why even does the internet exist
please excuse my quickie doodles, Tumblr
it got absolutely better
IT GOT GAYER
Could be gayer-
You are absolutely right
Decided to do a part 2 since itâs been widely requested
Reblog this if youâre pro-receiving a brown paper package containing one (1) handwritten love letter, a small jar of strawberry jam from the farmers market, and a smattering of pressed flowers.
Under the guise of saving trafficking victims, our government passed a bill that may actually increase the amount of trafficking in the sex industry and could result in the deaths of women, trans people, and LGBTQ people in disproportionate numbers. Itâscalled SESTA/FOSTA, and if you know someone who does consensual sex work (and maybe you do, even if you donât know it) or you consume sex work (and chances are you have â ever watched porn?) then itâs affecting the lives and livelihoods of people you know.
SESTA/FOSTA â which stands for Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act (SESTA) and Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act (FOSTA) â was presented as a bill to combat online sex trafficking. Advocacy groups found families and victims who were victims of sex trafficked and who shared their truly horrific stories. As a result, Craigslist dropped their personal ads section and Backpage was shutdown.
Basically everyone is against sex trafficking, but itâs a sloppily-written law that is doing more damage than good both to consensual sex workers and trafficking victims. And donât take my word for it. Major organizations have come out against SESTA/FOSTA. The ACLU opposes it. One of the biggest anti-trafficking groups in the country â Freedom Network USA â opposes it. Even the Department of Justice opposes it, saying it will make it harder to prosecute sex traffickers.
But while itâs nice to know that big groups arenât with this law, letâs focus on some of the people it actually affects: Sex workers. The law makes any website liable for âknowingly facilitating sex trafficking,â but doesnât clarify what that means. Fearing legal action, sites where consensual sex workers advertised, screened clients, and exchanged reviews (among other things) have been taken down. And, as a result, the safety measures that sex worker communities created to protect themselves have been stripped away â and people have seen a significant loss of income.
âBasically, sex workers have lost their access to safe sources of income,â Lola Balcon, community organizer with Survivors Against SESTA, tells Bustle. âAnd how thatâs played out is people still have bills to pay, rent to make, children to feed. Because they were originally doing sex work for economic reasons and those economic reasons werenât addressed, theyâre still doing sex work. Itâs just in a lot less safe conditions.â
Studies have shown that âoutdoorâ sex work is much more dangerous than âindoorâ sex work. With the increased popularity and availability of the internet, many sex workers moved from soliciting clients on the street to contacting and screening clients online. One 2017 study, âCraigslistâs Effect on Violence Against Womenâ, from researchers at West Virginia University and Baylor University found that when Craigslist started their âerotic servicesâ section in New York, the female homicide rate dropped 17 percent. The researchers drew a clear correlation between that statistic and the fact that outdoor sex work has a âdeath by homicide rate over 13 times higher than the general population.â
âPeople are moving back outside,â Balcon says. âThey no longer have access to client screening tools. Blacklists have moved. And since this law passed, weâve not only seen increases in street-based work, weâve also seen increases in homelessness because people are losing their housing.â
And rather than fight sex trafficking, people on the ground â as well as national organizations â are saying that SESTA/FOSTA may actually increase trafficking.
âWeâve also seen increases in trafficking in our communities,â Balcon says. âWhen FOSTA passed, a lot of third party managers started texting sex workers, saying, âThe gameâs changed. You need me to get clients.â And itâs true. People literally just donât have places to post, so a lot of people have gotten back into trafficking situations because of FOSTA.â
Sex workers are a part of so many communities: women, trans people, feminists, non-binary people, gay people, straight people, lesbians, immigrants, people of color, white people. The list goes on and on.
So what can allies do? There are a few concrete actions you can take if youâre pissed off about this law. First, Saturday, June 2, is International Whoreâs Day (IWD). Sex workers and their allies will be marching in cities across the world to show support. Marches will include speakers, celebrations, and a lot of red â participants are asked wear the color to show their support. Marches will be held in Los Angeles, New York, DC, Chicago, the Bay Area, Austin, and Las Vegas and for more information about the march in each specific city, check out the breakdown on Survivors Against SESTA. So if thereâs a march in your area, put on your best red outfit and hit the streets this weekend.
But what about those of us who donât live in those areas, but who want to help? Or maybe youâre planning on going to a march, but want to do even more? Below, professionals in the sex work industry share what allies can do right now to support the sex work community.
1.Donate
Balcon says this fight is just getting started â and advocacy organizations are going to need a lot of money to see it through. She recommends connecting with local organizations that are advocating for sex workersâ rights or are doing harm reduction work. If nothing like that exists in your area, try reaching out and donating to anti-poverty, immigration, or LGBTQ groups, as they often have good perspectives on sex work.
However, be critical before you hand over your money. Mia Little, president of the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee, sex worker advocate, and sex worker â points out that some organizations that looks like theyâre pro-sex worker are actually anti-trafficking groups or anti-sex worker groups. They recommend seeking out groups that are run by sex workers and being aware that calling themselves ârescue organizationsâ is a red flag.
Antonia Crane â writer, writing instructor, stripper and performer in Los Angeles â also recommends donating to these organizations:
Those same organizations that need money almost always need volunteers. If you have more time than cash â or youâre just down with the cause and want to physically show up â ask about volunteer opportunities. Chances are that youâll not only find yourself doing good work, but youâll also join a community of other badasses like you
3.Vote
SESTA/FOSTA was passed 97 to 2. If itâs going to get repealed, itâs up to us to elect officials who wonât throw sex workers under the bus. Balcon says that now is the time to hold politicians accountable. So do your research and find out where your representatives stand on this issue. And if they donât have a public stance, ask.
âIf youâre able to vote, have this inform how you vote,â Little says. âParticipate in that way.â
4.Use Your Privilege
Many sex workers arenât able to be publicly out about their work. But if youâre an ally who doesnât do sex work, you are able to be out about your support. âAllies occupy spaces that are not safe for sex workers,â Balcon says. âA huge part of advocacy is speaking up. Talk to your friends. That kind of work is not sexy but it makes a really big difference.â
You can also use your privilege to hold space â literal space â for voices within the community.
âIf youâre connected to institutions â like universities â and are able to hold space for voices of marginalized people, I really encourage you to reach out to sex workers to speak from their perspective,â Little says. âToo often, when people are talking about sex trafficking and sex work, they have only academics and researchers. Have people with lived experiences also share.â
5.Help Squash Stigma
âBe nice to sex workers,â Crane says. âHelp squash stigma and help decriminalize legit sex work.â
And, finally, donât forget that being a good ally doesnât just happen in a microcosm.
âTo be a good ally doesnât just happen in one-to-one interactions with you and a sex worker,â Little says. âAllyship informs how you move through the world and interact with everyone. Itâs about seeing the different systems of oppression and how they intersect. And itâs about seeing how you benefit from them â and how you are affected by it.â
So this weekend, get out there. And next weekend? Volunteer. And the next? Give some money. This is going to be a long fight â and weâre all in it together.