Okay so I’m sure you’ve all heard of the quiet place project. Well if not I am going to tell you because it has stopped me from doing serious damage more than once.
This gem right here is where you can literally create a 100% anonymous username and just absolutely spill your guts. Then people can read it and give you advice, and it honestly is so helpful. Because the other people on it are in the same situations as you, and they understand. You can comment and give advice on other peoples posts too, and it’s just really great.
This little beauty is similar to the comfort spot. Except instead of posting your thoughts, you type them into the box and then when you press enter they disappear and turn into stars against the blue sky. There is a whole bunch of different languages to choose from at the start, so if English is not your first language then you can probably find it here. There is the most comforting music that plays in the background as well, which is so great.
Which is so good for panic related things because it silences all of your other tabs and when you make it full screen it talks to you very calmly and then literally forces you stop for just 30 seconds and do nothing and just breathe.
Okay, so this is my actual favourite, it’s called the dawn room
The dawn room is so great for stopping you from self harming. It begins by telling you that its going to be alright, then it asks you to write something about someone you love. After that messages from other people, just like you, appear on the screen, one after the other, and the background slowly become brighter and happier. This page has genuinely stopped me from hurting myself more times than I can count. I’m not suggesting that it will work for everyone, but it is an absolute gem.
This page runs for about 5 minutes, and it is basically a typing simulator that tries to convince you that everything is going to be alright. It is very calming, and good for lonely times.
I can honestly say that this website has done me so so much good. I appreciate it with every bit of my being.
mental health stuff under the cut
having a hard time seeing the point in… anything and even when i can muster up a reason for something it’s all so fucking heavy and exhausting that i don’t know if i can do it. i’m so fucking tired
“Food activates the dopamine reward center in all brains. However, especially for the more impulsive ADHD brain, it leads to a torturous daily self-regulation challenge. The low levels of dopamine interfere with focused self-regulation, increasing the likelihood that ADHD brains will be inattentive to the factors that modulate eating behaviors. In addition, ADHD brains exhibit decreased glucose metabolism compared to non-ADHD brains, resulting in less energy available to the attention center in the prefrontal cortex. As a result, ADHD brains send out distress messages demanding more glucose, and the owners of those brains suddenly crave sugary foods and carbohydrates, which can be quickly converted into glucose. Glucose increases dopamine and serotonin, so brains experience pleasure and greater calm. Many people with ADHD chide themselves for indulging in pasta and cookies, when their brains are actually demanding those foods instead of salad. Chocolate is appealing to ADHD brains because it increases glucose and has the added stimulation of caffeine. It is no wonder that those with ADHD struggle with diet and nutrition. When they self-medicate with food, their brains enjoy a surge of dopamine, an increase in glucose-based energy that improves attention, and a serotonin-based calming of restlessness.”
It’s seriously okay to take a break on all the news for a while. It isn’t giving up – just regrouping. Take care of yourself.
but the problem is i’ve been “taking a break” from it since last september, and it feels like all i have to do is glance at a fucking headline about any of it (and there’s so fucking MUCH) and my head is fucked for the rest of the day and i don’t know how to make it stop
i don’t wanna be a person anymore this shit’s exhausting
personal shit under the cut
somedays i’m ok and can do my stuff and sometimes see a point in but lately most days i still do my stuff and don’t know why i bother because i have a hard time seeing a future worth sticking around for because i’m tired. i’m so fucking tired of reading the news and seeing all this awful shit happening and there’s not a single fucking thing i can do about it because i live in the middle of fuckin nowhere and i have no money to donate to the people who can do something about it and i try to stay away from it because it does this to me but then i feel gulty about not staying informed but staying informed makes me feel like this and then there’s work and school and trying to figure out how to pay all my loans back and if i’m ever going to be able to retire or even get a job that i don’t hate and my family keeps forgetting i exist and my friends are too far away and have their own shit going on and i don’t want to bother her with this and i just don’t wanna be a person anymore
One of the more weird and frustrating things about depression to explain to people, especially concerned/worried loved ones, is that you’re not suicidal really it’s just… sometimes you’re so… tired. You’re so apathetic, that… it’s not the active death of yourself that you’re wanting. That requires so much more energy than you have, and it’s too violent an act for what you want. There’s just sometimes this quiet and exhausted desire to just… not be. You don’t want to be dead, dead is still a state of being that according to various religions and beliefs of the world isn’t an end, you just want to not be. You just want it to stop, all of it, you want the quiet. You want to feel, or to stop feeling, you just want to not be. And that’s not the same. There’s no real immediate risk that you’ll commit suicide or self-harm or anything. It’s hard to explain the difference between this feeling and the desire to hurt or kill yourself. They overlap sometimes but they’re very different things. I don’t want to be dead, I won’t want to hurt myself or anyone else… but when my particular brand of depression gets really bad… I want to not be.
i tried explaining this to someone once and basically,
i had this during my very first bout of depression some 15 years ago, and neither myself nor the people around me were equipped to understand what ‘i’m not thinking actual suicide, i just want to not be alive anymore’ means. since then the joke has always been that i’m too chicken shit to kill myself, which is…..not really a joke. i’ve used it to reassure the handful of people i’ve tried to talk to about suicide, and to be honest, i use it to reassure myself sometimes.
the thing is, i still have no idea if ‘it would be nice if i went to bed and never woke up’ really counts as suicidal ideation, or it’s just. a regular depression thing. i asked my therapist about this during the short time last year when i could get therapy, and she was like ‘well, i’m not too worried about you’. okay, but does it count? i still honestly don’t understand.
Know the feeling when you suddenly stop and think to yourself: “I think I am falling back into the pit again.”?
You are sitting on the bus, or in your car, or you are at school, at work or even at home and you suddenly realize that you are getting bad again.
But why?
You don’t really know. You wretch your brain for any trigger. But there is none. You’ve been getting along like usual.
So why?
Sometimes there is no “because”.
Sometimes you are just not happy. And there is nothing to blame.
But you are keeping it to yourself, except that you eventually tell your therapist about it, but that’s it. Because maybe, just maybe, it’s just the day or the weather and you will be fine in the morning.
But in most cases it isn’t that simple. You stay internally dead. And you can’t do anything about it.
You also don’t tell your loved ones, because you are scared they might think it’s their fault. For making you unhappy. But they are wrong.
tora42's nonsensne 