Listen I have zero headcanons or plot for a Leverage OT3 highschool AU, I just have a burning desire for Eliot driving around his boyfriend and girlfriend in a beat up old car and Nana being awesome and Parker being Mysterious and also maybe like milkshakes??? Flannel and sneakers??? Cute teen dates??? Someone please save me.
-Eliot charming the shit out of Nana with his ‘ma’am’ and appreciation for Good Food.
-Parker not officially going to school, she just picks a class or two she wants to follow because Archie said she should learn to blend in with kids her age. She steals the teacher’s roll-call list and adds herself to it.
-Eliot 100% the quarterback. He is also Very Popular with The Ladies and some of the other players are like: HOW DO YOU GET SO MUCH ASS ELIOT and he is like: TRY TREATING WOMEN LIKE PEOPLE JACKASS. (He doesn’t even get around half as much as people think, because he is Respectful and even when he does have sex he never tells.)
-Hardison takes ALL the computer classes. He finished all his assignments on the first day and spends the rest of his time hacking and programming and messing with the school’s system so bullies actually get in trouble and kids who have accessibility needs are suddenly getting the funds and help they need.
-Parker tried out for cheerleader and it went about as well as you can imagine.
-Lots of very cute late night dates at all-night diners with milkshakes and Eliot arguing with the fry cook and Hardison charming the waitress but only because he wants to distract her from Parker sneaking behind the counter to top up their milkshake.
-Hardison being very understanding Eliot doesn’t want to introduce him to his dad like: is it the boy thing, the black thing, or… And Eliot is like: no no no it’s the my dad is an asshole thing and I don’t want to subject either of you to him but I want you to meet my little brother his name is Jake he’s really smart you’ll like him.
-All three of them have tried the yawn-and-arm-around-the-shoulders move and only one of them was succesful. (Eliot. And only half the time, one time he nearly poked Hardison’s eye out.)
-Parker stealing her boy’s clothes and accidentally becoming the centre of attention because wearing the quarterback’s letterman jacket Means Something so she makes Hardison switch with her and that just causes more gossip and meanwhile Eliot is bitching at them like DID NOBODY THINK THAT MAYBE I’M COLD WITHOUT MY JACKET DO YOU SEE HOW MANY LAYERS I WEAR IT’S NOT A FASHION STATEMENT DAMMIT HARDISON GIVE IT BACK.
-Nana has totally taken Parker aside and told her if she needs anything, she can always come to her. Parker fled because of Emotions but also has totes dropped by the house while Hardison was out to 1) get advice from an adult who was not Archie and 2) eat all the homemade cookies.
-Eliot takes the other two camping. It goes about as well as you can imagine.
-Hardison and Eliot seeing Archie with Parker when they’re arguing about a job. Hardison very carefully tries to question her about who Archie is (’nah, Archie isn’t my dad, he has a Real Family’), if he’s bad-touching her, and Parker being ‘???’ until Eliot is like: IS HE HURTING YOU BECAUSE I WILL PUNCH HIM and Parker being like: oh lol no, Archie knows I would stab him if he tried to touch me. =D He gave me a knife!
-They’re still not entirely sure about who Archie is so they track him down and threaten him just in case. Archie makes up some kind of story about being a mentor and being all: I’m glad Parker made friends who will threaten adults for her.
-Who gave Parker a skateboard who thought that was a good idea she is riding it along the edge of a 10 story building.
-Laser tag death match, winner gets to pick the movie/food/sit in the middle of the snugglepile.
-Weirdly invested and inappropriate-life-advice-giving guidance counsellor Sophie Devereaux who may or may not be a con-woman laying low for a few years.
-Econ teacher Nate who will explain the economy and the market and also how marketing schemes and con-men work and if you ask the right questions at the right time and distract him BOOM your lesson is now a history of epic heists class.
-When Hardison finds out Parker is not officially enrolled, he Fixes That in the system, making sure to forge her some nice grades for the classes she doesn’t take (nice, but nothing that will make her stand out.) He tries not to pry, because Parker tends to disappear when you pry too much, but he makes sure that whoever she lives with, they’re not hurting her. He thinks maybe she just has shitty foster parents, or some kind of Weird Religious Ones who want to homeschool her? She knows a lot about art and geography, okay, and she does fine with math, so clearly she’s got schooling.
-Eliot is the one who learns she lives in a Creepy Warehouse. She makes him promise not to tell Hardison, because he will make Sad Eyes and possibly get Nana involved. Eliot is like: YOU OWN A WAREHOUSE? HOW? WITH WHAT MONEY. No no don’t tell me I don’t want to know. He makes sure she’s safe and comfortable and goes home to punch his punching bad in the basement because DAMMIT HE PROMISED NOT TO TELL HARDISON but maybe Nana should be involved because that can’t be healthy.
-Various teachers spend a year trying to get Parker to go to the guidance counsellor. She needs some kind of help, they agree.
-Parker only actually goes when Eliot and Hardison ask her to the winter formal, and she’s like: YOU GIVE PEOPLE ADVICE RIGHT HELP ME I WANT TO LOOK NICE FOR THE DANCE. And Sophie is all: um that’s not the kind of advice they mean but also I am not going to turn down giving fashion advice come in what can I do for you.
-And Parker tried to ask Nana, and Nana is sweet and kind and told her feel-good stuff like ‘wear something that makes you feel pretty’ and ‘you will look great no matter what you wear, dear, don’t let yourself get caught up thinking you need some expensive dress’.
-But that doesn’t help, she doesn’t know what to wear, what makes her feel pretty is her jeans and the shirt she stole from Hardison and Eliot’s second-favourite flannel because they preen when she wears them. But those aren’t Dance Clothes and she wants to look nice but also not stand out and also not wear uncomfortable shoes.
-So she sits down with Sophie and explains all that and then is like: so I need something to wear with THIS.
-And she pulls out this necklace. And Sophie is like: Is That The Bismarck Sapphire??? And Parker is like: Eliot says blue brings out my eyes.
-And Sophie, momentarily forgetting she is a Guidance Counsellor, asks her like: HOW DID YOU GET PAST X SECURITY MEASURE AT THE SMITHSONIAN and then Parker looks at her and Knows. Sophie is like her.
-And then they spend like, 25 minutes gossiping about Stealing Shit before Sophie pulls up some websites and shows her some lovely dresses that would look nice with her necklace.
-And from then on, Parker goes to visit Sophie regularly, usually with some cool anecdote about a thing she stole like it’s show and tell, until Sophie gently tells her she’s welcome even without that, she doesn’t have to ‘pay’ for advice, and she helps Parker with stuff like How Do I People and also How Do I Pass This Exam When I’m Stealing A Thing Downtown The Night Before.
Tag: leverage
black panther au where everything is the same but instead of martin freeman it’s alec hardison pretending to be cia for a con
Alec “I wish I’d played more flight simulators” Hardison trying to shoot down the other planes in Shuri’s simulator and freaking out about it.
The rest of the team getting worried when he disappears and when they find out that Killmonger has taken over Wakanda they team up with T’Challa and are like “let’s go steal a throne.”
Hardison doing the Wakanda Forever salute ❤
(ideally I’d watch the movie ten more times because my memory is garbage except for memes, but oh well.)
1. Nakia can tell there’s something off about this “CIA agent” right away. Something about the way he looks at T’Challa. CIA has a very distinctive look toward him. This guy is something else. She doesn’t tell the others, though; he’s not going to get the artifact, no matter who he is.
hot take: eliot and sophie are both the team mom
sophie and eliot definitely slept together during s2
Sebastian Stan on the set of Avengers: Infinity War (x)
You cannot convince me that Eliot Spencer isn’t Bucky’s grandson.
😳
HEADCANNON ACCEPTED.
Look, I’m not saying that this is 100% the sort of fic that @copperbadge would write except that is exactly what I’m saying
HAPPY SATURDAY
Parker and Hardison knew Elliot had finally settled when he disappeared for a couple of days and returned with a carefully packed crate of herb plants in decorative pots and a small fireproof safe full of photographs.
Well, technically they knew he’d really settled when he unpacked the photographs and hung them up in the kitchen. (By this time Parker had already accidentally killed the paprika plant.)
“Who’s that?” she asked, sitting on the counter, watching Elliot carefully hang a photograph of a beautiful, dangerous-looking woman next to the refrigerator (far from the heat and splatters of the stove).
“Granny Peggy,” Elliot said, and gave no extra information, as if the name itself was sufficient.
“Your grandma?” Parker asked.
“Sorta how Hardison’s Nana is,” Elliot said.
“I hear my name?” Hardison yelled from the other room.
“Come look, Elliot’s Sharing Things,” Parker called. Hardison’s head popped into the kitchen.
“Like snacks?”
“Look, that’s his Granny Peggy,” Parker pointed.
Hardison stared at Elliot. “You are Peggy Carter’s grandson?” he asked.
“No! We just called her that. Also how the hell do you know who Peggy Carter is?” Elliot said, at the same time Parker squeaked, “I thought Peggy Carter was a myth!”
(There is a readmore below. Read more!)
tora42's nonsensne 