Tag: discworld

ask-amcw:

“Surprisingly, Sergeant Detritus is perfect for the job. He’s good with children and Sam loves the piggyback rides. … And I can rest easy because no one is going to dare lay a finger on my son as long as Detritus is around.”

dharmaavocado:

Masterlist of all my fills for the trope mashup meme:

  1.  Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Rey/Jess, bookshop au and trapped on a desert island
  2. Clone Wars, Ahsoka/Steela, dystopia au and mutual pining
  3. Clone Wars, Rex/Obi-Wan, sleep intimacy and time travel
  4. Clone Wars, Rex/Obi-Wan, circus au and awful first meeting
  5. Discworld, Vimes/Sybil, space au and arranged marriage
  6. Clone Wars, Rex/Obi-Wan, royal au and flirting under fire
  7. Rogue One, Chirrut/Baze, dystopia au and not-a-date
  8. Clone Wars, Rex/Obi-Wan, unexpected virgin and criminal au leverage au
  9. Clone Wars, Ahsoka/Steela, mutual pining and summer camp au
  10. Clone Wars, Dogma/Tup, prison au and makeovers
  11. Clone Wars, Rex/Obi-Wan, coming out and love confession

As it’s the Glorious 25th of May what about a space AU and arranged marriage with Vimes and Lady Sybil?

dharmaavocado:

Well, it’s no longer the Glorious 25th of May because I am the
slowest writer alive and I have never written Discworld before, but I love
Vimes and I love Lady Sybil so let’s do this. I may also have gone with a
loose definition of arranged.

Ankh-Morpork is a small moon compared to the aging Uberwald empire or the
twin moons of Klatch and Ecks Ecks Ecks Ecks, but what it lacks in size it
more than makes up for in attitude. While it is, most planet of the Disc
system agree, tiresome, its Patrician is not a man to cross.

Vetinari has transformed Ankh-Morpork into a thriving moon with a mostly
functional economic system and something even resembling culture. But the
Disc is built on old alliances and understandings and Ankh-Morpork has
little of those. It does, however, have the Ramkin family, which in turn
hsa ties to nearly every old family of every planet. The Ramkin fortune may
have faded over the years, Vetinari is still friends with the remaining
Ramkin daughter, Lady Sybil, who is the sole heir of the house and is
unmarried.

And then there is, of course, Vimes. Ankh-Morpork loved Vimes in the way
only it could: it hated him right up until it needed him and then it
dredged up some goodwill and claimed it had been there the entire time.
Vimes was descended from a family who believed people were bastards but
underneath that were worthwhile. They planted themselves on the side of
what was right, no matter the cost, and slaid kings.

Vimes is of the people, and given how much the heads of the guild despised
him, Vetinari held high hopes for Vimes’ political future and how to secure
it.

Keep reading

IT’S PERFECT

PLEASE VIMES HEADCANONS PLEASE

mickmercury:

  • cheery accidentally called him ‘dad’ once and he replied without thinking about it and then both of them silently came to the understanding that this incident would never be mentioned again
  • he has at least one stupid tattoo he got as a stupid teenager. you know that one bit in Thud! about his hatred of Clues where he gives the example of a drunk 17-year-old getting a tattoo that makes people think he’s a sailor even though he can get seasick on pavement? there’s nothing hypothetical about that example
  • sergeant colon is the only member of the watch who knows about it because the guy practically raised him starting in his late teens
  • sybil thinks it’s cute
  • he is short. childhood malnutrition will do that to a guy. but like, REALLY short.
  • omnian vimes
  • this isn’t even a headcanon but my favorite canon detail about him is that he lines his razor up with the Hub because he believes in folk superstition that doing that keeps it sharp? I love that so much. I love him so much
  • he’s one of those people who pretty much never knows what the date is so he’s garbage at holidays and anniversaries. Sybil had to ask Sgt. Colon when his birthday was.
  • total tangent but do you ever just wonder how the FUCK Nobby ended up as the quartermaster for the army of Pseudopolis????? I can’t stop thinking about this
  • sometimes he goes to parties with Sybil and she manages to coax him out of whatever shadow he’s found to lurk in and dance with her. they’re both terrible at it and they have a great time, especially when people give them rude looks.
  • he takes advantage of the ability to see/Know Things in the dark to creep up on people and deliver one-liners at them. what’s the point of being a boogeyman to half the world if you don’t get to be Dramatique about it
  • also to sneak downstairs at night without a light and make himself the kind of sandwich that Sybil disapproves of
  • but also, Young Sam is NEVER going to be able to get away with sneaking around at night? or actually anything? can you imagine having an incredibly suspicious dad who can literally always know what you’ve done in a dark room
  • theres a 100% chance that Sam Vimes Arresting Anything is a meme on the Disc
  • so is his list of titles

Things I Learned From Sir Terry Pratchett And His Marvelous Worlds (A Necessary List)

knitmeapony:

  1. The dogged determination and patience of one person to do what is Right and Necessary may not always win the day or even be noticed, but it will tip the balance just a little in the direction of good.
  2. “[T]he innocent had everything to fear, mostly from the guilty but in the longer term even more from those who say things like ‘The innocent have nothing to fear’.”

  3. Help when you can, lift when you can, work as you can, but never be afraid to ask ‘will I get paid for this?’
  4. Everyone’s got hidden depths.  Some people have beautiful hidden mountain glades filled with adorable doe-eyed bunnies.  Some people have black oubliettes filled with nightmares and worse. Endeavor to be the sort of person that has both sorts of depths as neighbors.  Plumb them with caution.
  5. Find a place to call home, and know it so well you can tell what street you’re on by the feel of cobblestones through your boots.
  6. You can always come home again, but that doesn’t mean you’re moving backwards.
  7. There is never a bad time for a pun.
  8. There’s also never really a good time for a pun.
  9. You might as well just stay braced for a pun at all times, and ride them when they come with as much grace as you can manage.
  10. The fact that you can replace ‘pun’ with ‘disaster’ in the last three rules says a lot about the human race.
  11. Many people can survive absolutely anything as long as they know where their next meal is coming from. Others can not survive much, no matter how many meals they know about, and there’s no shame in that, nor admitting that, nor leaning on others to get there.
  12. You can protect children and you can teach children, but never perfectly in either case.
  13. You may not be able to change the world, but that doesn’t mean you have to stand for any sort of nonsense in your personal life.
  14. Everybody has somebody.  It could be a friend, a lover, a spouse, a writing partner, or even That One Person You See At The Coffee Shop each day.  Sometimes they exist to comfort you.  Sometimes they exist to drive you absolutely mad.  Be open to either as a form of self-improvement.
  15. Death comes to us all, but memory is long and time is tricky.  The end for you is, most likely, not really the end for everyone else.  
  16. If you know the end, if you can see the end, there’s no need to be resigned.  Keep walking on cheerfully, whistling right up to the precipice, and let people remember you by the beautiful song you leave in the air.

Thank you, sir.  You will be missed.