jewish-kulindadromeus:

Now that I have finished the process, I’m writing up a post which goes over the ins and outs of converting. It will be honest, it will be blunt, and it will be as concise as I can make it. 

Study. A lot. Before you even contact a rabbi. 

• Judaism is a deep, rich tradition that covers every aspect of the human condition, and is more than a belief system (and, in fact, belief is a very minor part of the conversion process). It is a system of culture, ritual, and community. 
• The process of converting to Judaism is roughly analogous to the process of becoming a citizen of a country. You’re joining a family. 
• So, no, you can’t just say you believe in One God and be done with it. You have to naturalize yourself. 
• Ask yourself: Why do you want to be a Jew? What are you hoping Judaism will give you? What are you looking for from a religious system, and why do you think Judaism will give you what you seek?
• It makes it so much easier if you do a lot of research before hand. Read books. Many many books. And websites. I can recommend things but making a full list is going to clog up this post so just message me. 
• We are the people of the Book. There are a lot of books. Dive in. 
• That said, don’t read the Torah/Tanach without help though. They are extremely complicated texts and you need a Rabbi’s guidance or at the very least ample commentary to understand them. 
• Investigate all forms of Judaism and attend Shabbat service at a variety of synagogues prior to contacting a rabbi. Be sure to contact a synagogue’s staff to let them know you’re visiting for security reasons, and investigate how the different communities feel to you. 
• Be prepared to spend money – on books, on ritual objects, on classes, on the mikvah. If you are broke, which I am so I feel you, you might be able to get a lot of these fees waved – and there are plenty of free resources out there, too. Talk to your Rabbi, when you’ve made a connection with one, about what you can afford and what limitations you face. You don’t need to pay money to go to Shabbat service. 

Contact a Rabbi when you feel you are ready!

• At this point in the process, you should have a lot of questions – both about what things mean, what you need to do, what the community you are joining expects of you as a convert, and how to adopt Jewish practice into your life. As such, write them all down. 
• It doesn’t hurt to research the rabbis or, if you meet them at service during the above step, talk to them casually to see if you have a rapport. It’s important to get along well with your rabbi and to have an understanding between you. Your rabbi is your guide as you go through the process, and you need to be able to have a good relationship with them. 
• Email your rabbi when you feel you are ready and have found someone you mesh well with. Be honest and forthcoming in your email – say something along the lines of “I’m looking to convert to Judaism and am interested in working with you to do so,” etc. 
• Every conversion is unique, but be sure to bring up any potential problems early on. If you’re trans/nonbinary, in a relationship with someone who doesn’t wish to convert, or have disabilities, it’s important to bring them up so you can work with your rabbi on how this will affect your ability to convert through that movement and what your community will expect of you. 
• If you do not have a community near you of the sort of Judaism you wish to convert through, it does not hurt to contact a rabbi from a nearby community outside of traveling distance. Many rabbis are willing to use modern technology to aid in your conversion. That being said, Judaism is about joining a community, so if you have to wait until you actually live near a community you want to join, that’s okay – this is a marathon, not a sprint. Take the time to study further. 
• Some Rabbis will deny you three times before taking you as a student. Be prepared for that, and keep coming back, if this is what you really want. 

Reform Judaism is not “Conversion Light” and Orthodox Judaism is not “Conversion Hard-Mode.” 

• A conversion through any movement of Judaism is informed by that movement’s philosophy towards Judaism. 
• Reform conversion is informed by the movement’s philosophy, which is that the adoption of Jewish practice is a choice, one that has to be done through informed knowledge of each act. As such, you have to adopt each ritual with careful thought and self-analysis. 
• Orthodox Judaism is informed by the movement’s philosophy, which is that HaShem dictated each Jewish Practice and as such you do not have a choice, if you are Jewish you must do each mitzvah. As such, you have to adopt each ritual gradually so you can get used to all of them. Then there are the minhag to think about as well. 
• Both present their own challenges and simplicities. Both are difficult to do and take multiple years. This goes for Conservative, Reconstructionist, Renewal, etc. as well. 
• As such, you should not pick a movement for a superficial reason such as “it’s easier”, because none of them are actually easier than any other. You should choose a movement to convert through based on how it speaks to you as a person, how its philosophy lines up with your own, how the community makes you feel, and what you really are looking for in Judaism. 
• This is why it’s important to do a lot of introspection prior to even contacting a rabbi. 
• Unfortunately, other cultural forms of Judaism (ie, Sephardic) don’t usually offer conversions, but if that speaks to you, it doesn’t hurt to look into it. 
• Know that, depending on the movement you convert through, some Jewish people won’t consider your conversion valid. Don’t let that stop you from picking the community that feels like home. This is about you and what you want – other people really don’t matter. 

Cut Any And All Ties To Any Former Religions.

• When in doubt, Judaism is not compatible with another religious system. There are exceptions to this (my Rabbi loves to talk about “Jew-Boos,” i.e. Jewish Buddhists) but by and large assume you can’t remain in your former religion. 
• You cannot believe in Jesus as the Messiah and be Jewish. You can’t. They don’t work together. Judaism as it is today was in a large part defined in opposition to Christianity and as such they are incompatible. Messianic “Judaism” isn’t Jewish, it’s Christian. 
• Judaism isn’t just “Christianity without Jesus” and by this point in the process you really should know that because you in theory have read enough to know this
• Be sure to preserve shalom bayit – ie peace in the home – as much as you can, but try to avoid going to other kinds of religious services, partaking in other religious rituals, and celebrating other religious holidays. 
• If you can’t avoid something, such as celebrating Christmas, be sure to distance yourself from the practice and remind yourself you’re celebrating for other people, not for yourself. 
• Because Judaism is a religion of orthopraxy (it’s about what rituals you do) rather than orthodoxy (what you believe), many non-inherently Jewish personal philosophies can be concurrent with Judaism. There are only a few important exceptions. 
• Yes, you can be a Scientist and Jewish. You have to cut ties with other religions, not things like science. Plus science isn’t a belief, it just… is what it is.  

Adopt the Mitzvot (Jewish Practice) with the help of your Rabbi.

• That’s literally why you have a Rabbi – to guide your journey 
• When you adopt what and how you adopt what depends on what your Rabbi recommends as well as what your community/movement expects of you 
• Also adopt minhag (custom that isn’t “law” per-say) slowly and steadily and with the help of your Rabbi 
• Study each mitzvah prior to adopting it and learn it deeply so you understand it as much as you can 
• Some mitzvot you can’t do till your done (such as hanging the mezuzah or wearing a tallit), or at least, you usually can’t. Talk to your Rabbi before adopting any mitzvah into your life. 
• Know your boundaries and your needs, and stay in your lane. Your Rabbi is your guide. Trust them, and don’t get ahead of yourself. 

You have to work to unlearn antisemitism. 

• We live in an inherently antisemitic society. As such, we all have antisemitic beliefs – whether internalized, unconscious, or very much so conscious ones. You might think you’re not antisemitic, but the problem is – you still probably have unconscious antisemitic opinions. You have to work on them. 
• Read things written by Jewish people about Antisemitism and learn from them. Study antisemitic events in history and today. Remind yourself that antisemitism never actually went away after the Holocaust. 
• You do not know more than someone who is already Jewish about antisemitism. Do not talk over jewish people about it, and listen to them if they call out your behavior. 
• You aren’t a Jew yet, honey. You don’t get a free pass. 
• Don’t make generalized statements about Jewish people please. Judaism is ridiculously varied and diverse and so are the people. 
• I will never forget the time I saw someone who wanted to convert say that Jewish people “hated poor people.” Seriously. Just because you want to convert doesn’t mean you can’t be antisemitic. 
• Because Judaism is a different culture than western culture, remind yourself 
• A) it’s not like Xtianity, like, at all 
• B) the standards for certain things might be different 
• C) you have to look at the differences in culture through a Jewish lense, not a goyische one 
• Goy isn’t a slur. It literally just means “non-Jew”. 
• Fight against antisemitism where you see it and place the emotional burden on yourself to work against it because antisemitism is Nasty and you shouldn’t want it to happen 
• That said, be sure to practice self care
• I Shouldn’t Have To Tell You Not To Hate The People You Want To Join 

Immerse yourself in Jewish Culture 

• Listen to Jewish music!!! Maybe not all the time but often. There are lots of options and lots of different kinds and there’s such a plethora!!!! 
• Eat Jewish food (within dietary reason – allergies exist, I’m aware)! Go to events held by your synagogue or eat at kosher restaurants. Also, try to go kosher, especially if your Rabbi/community/movement requires it
• Try to learn the aleph-bet & how to read Hebrew. If your Rabbi/community/movement requires it, definitely learn how to read Hebrew. 
• Learning how to communicate in Hebrew might be required of you, too, and regardless its worth looking into. 
• There’s a difference between Biblical Hebrew, Liturgical Hebrew, & Modern Hebrew. Know what kind you’re getting if you take a class/read a book/download the Duolingo App, etc. 
• Ask your rabbi for help!!!! ESPECIALLY if they require it for conversion!!!! 
• Hebrew is hard. Get started as soon as you can. 
• Consider learning Yiddish and/or Ladino too, if you want! 
• Jewish movies and television exist beyond Fiddler on the Roof and Prince of Egypt. Look into them and ask people for recommendations! 
• Jewish memes exist. Enjoy them. 
• Don’t just read informational books – read stories and myths too! Books by Jewish people and books featuring Jewish characters and stories!! IMMERSE YOURSELF 
• You’re naturalizing yourself. That means you have to go into the deep end of the pool and get as much Jewish Culture as well as Jewish Religion into your life as possible. 

Feel Free to make Judaism yours 

• When you become a citizen of a country, you don’t stop being you. So just because you’re becoming Jewish, doesn’t mean you have to stop being you, besides what is required of you to change in the conversion process 
• With respect and the help of your rabbi, feel free to incorporate parts of your life into Jewish practice, or to make parts of your life More Jewish 
• For example, I have an Italian Background. So part of my Shabbat is making some of my favorite Italian Recipes. Traditional Jewish food? Maybe not. But it does sanctify the day and make it mine. 
• Jewish people are all over the world and come in every size, shape, and color – and so does Jewish practice. Don’t feel afraid to take who you are and combine it with Judaism. 
• Make sure to know boundaries and keep respectful, but you can still be eager and enthusiastic – becoming Jewish should be a journey of joy, so be joyful! 
• Look man I draw dinosaurs with kippot now you can do silly things too. 

You are Not Alone!!!! 

• Conversion is a journey you take by yourself, but it’s a journey towards joining a people. So you aren’t alone whatsoever, and you shouldn’t feel scared to reach out for help or for community!
• Make friends at your synagogue!!!! It’s the community you’re joining so you should be befriending people there and immersing yourself in it. 
• Make friends with the Rabbis & Cantors at your synagogue!!! They’re wonderful, friendly people and you should feel comfortable with them, especially your sponsoring Rabbi. 
• Make friends with people in your conversion class!!! You have a lot in common because you’re going on the same journey. Some of my best friends are friends I made through class and honestly thank HaShem I had an opportunity to make friends as an adult do you realize how hard it is when you leave college 
• Socially anxious? No problem! Online communities exist and plenty are welcoming to conversion students or prospective converts. Just be honest about where you are in the process. 

Don’t just listen to me 

• I am an Idiot and I have one perspective on this. Other people will have their own. Talk to other people – especially other converts – about their journey. 
• The Journey to Being Jewish is unique for every single individual. You don’t know what your path will be, how long it will take, or what obstacles you might face. So be sure to ask for advice from across the board. 
• Many people want to help you. Many people are kind. You can, and should, build a support system around yourself of people to ask advice of. Don’t just rely on one person – whether that person is me, your Rabbi, or your friend in conversion class. Let your community support you. 

In the vein of that last one, feel free to add more stuff onto this. 

Good Luck! 

!בהצלחה