mental health stuff under the cut

having a hard time seeing the point in… anything and even when i can muster up a reason for something it’s all so fucking heavy and exhausting that i don’t know if i can do it. i’m so fucking tired

personal shit under the cut

somedays i’m ok and can do my stuff and sometimes see a point in but lately most days i still do my stuff and don’t know why i bother because i have a hard time seeing a future worth sticking around for because i’m tired. i’m so fucking tired of reading the news and seeing all this awful shit happening and there’s not a single fucking thing i can do about it because i live in the middle of fuckin nowhere and i have no money to donate to the people who can do something about it and i try to stay away from it because it does this to me but then i feel gulty about not staying informed but staying informed makes me feel like this and then there’s work and school and trying to figure out how to pay all my loans back and if i’m ever going to be able to retire or even get a job that i don’t hate and my family keeps forgetting i exist and my friends are too far away and have their own shit going on and i don’t want to bother her with this and i just don’t wanna be a person anymore