I’ve seen a number of posts floating around where people ask how to start reading the Venom comics, so here’s my little take on the subject. Given that the comics have been around for 30+ years, the “continuity” is a jumbled, nigh-meaningless mess, so let’s focus on the goods here. And by “the goods” I mean “Eddie and Venom being really gay and romantic with each other”. So here are a few series that DELIVER on that front. This list is by no means all inclusive– feel free to reblog and add more! I haven’t even come close to reading all the comics.
(Most of the links below are to Comixology, because that’s where I have them, but you know. Get them wherever.)
1. Venom (2018) written by Donny Cates – this is the current ongoing series, with 6 issues out so far (the 7th comes out on 10/10). The quality of the writing is top notch. Venom becomes very ill because of an evil symbiote god who looks like he stepped right out of a Castlevania game if Castlevania was made by David Cronenberg. Despite the unspeakably powerful goth energy radiating from the art, this series has many tender, soft moments between Eddie and Venom and it contains the crown jewel of any OTP: Venom says, right there on the page, “I love you, Eddie”.
2. Venom (2016) written by Mike Costa – collected into 4 volumes. This is the one where Eddie and Venom rekindle their relationship and then have a baby together, complete with on-panel birth. Has some cute slice-of-life scenes and lot of Eddie and Venom working on trust and communication in their relationship. They call each other romantic pet names. And fight dinosaur people. In the sewer. Like you do.
3. First Host (2018) written by Mike Costa – 5 issue miniseries. A direct continuation of the above. How fares Eddie and Venom’s bundle of joy? Highlights include Eddie in peak Dad Mode, Eddie being super protective of his spouse and child, and the entire plot ripped straight from a soap opera. Not even joking: the Venom symbiote’s ex suddenly shows up out of nowhere and demands Venom return to him. When Venom says it wants to be with Eddie now, the shitbag ex threatens their child! *mustachio twirl*
4. Venom: The Hunger (1996) written by Len Kaminski – 4 issue miniseries. Overflowing with X-Treme 90s Energy, Eddie is insufferably self-righteous and has He-Man hair, all bodily fluids are neon green, and Venom looks like an H.R. Giger painting. This little gem tells us the origin of Venom’s chocolate obsession. Eddie cuddles Venom a lot and there’s panels of Eddie basically moaning with pleasure while Venom wraps him in tentacles. The story revolves around Venom leaving Eddie because it needs certain brain chemicals, and Eddie’s brain alone can no longer provide it enough so it has to go on a vore spree. Eddie and Venom do, of course, make up and get back together again in the end, so fear not!
5. Venom: Lethal Protector (1993) written by David Michelinie. Not nearly as overtly gay as the more recent series, but the movie is (VERY) loosely based on this, so there ya go. Get ready to see Eddie bopping around San Francisco in a killer mullet, crop top, and mom jeans! Still very loud queer subtext between him and Venom, as with every Venom series. Except the most recent ones– only because it’s not subtext anymore, it’s canon!
Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage dick jokes) and I came across….something
some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slang–a cock compendium, if you will–that dates back all the way to the fucking 13th CENTURY. This motherfucker tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesn’t do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green.
Some of my favorites include:
Shaft of Delight (1700s)
Womb Sweeper (1980s)
Master John Goodfellow (1890s)
Nimble-Wimble (1650s)
Corporal Love (1930s)
Staff of Life (1880s)
Spindle (1530s)
As good as ever twanged (1670s)
Gaying Instrument (1810s)
Beef Torpedo (1980s)
and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, I’m Nimble Wimble
And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathon’s got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights:
Mrs. Fubb’s Parlor (1820s)
Poontang (1950s)
Spunk Box (1720s)
Ringerangroo (1930s)
Ineffable (1890s)
Itching Jenny (1890s)
Carnal Mantrap (1890s – a busy decade apparently)
Bookbinder’s Wife (1760s)
Rough Malkin (1530s)
Socket (1460s)
and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum, circa approximately 1670.
How could you forget all the cool heavy metal ladies!? The metal scene of Botswana is NOT just a boys club
Anyone know any of the names of these individual’s groups? I love metal music and I’m always looking for new bands to listen to.
Wrust is my fave. Overthrust, Gunsmoke, and Demon are also good.
PS in Botswana metal heads are called Marok, and lady metalheads call themselves Queens and give themselves badass nicknames like Phoenix Death Serpent.
Bugs Bunny could singlehandedly defeat Thanos by dressing up as a TSA agent and setting up a metal detector in the middle of the battlefield saying that all metal objects must be removed if you want to pass on through now stick around for my 2,000 word essay on just how effectively he would convince The Mad Titan to comply
“For shame, doc! Dontcha know we got other folks waiting?”
(Thanos looks behind him and sees dozens of Bugs Bunnies dressed as angry yelling travelers with huge bags of luggage. Thanos rubs his neck guiltily and begins sliding off the gauntlet)
I felt compelled
Nobody expected you to draw T. Hanos himself in the Looney Tunes artstyle but you absolutely fucking delivered
Okay, so do vampires drink from arteries or veins or both? Asking for a friend.
@lqtraintracks This drew me in too easily, what the hell 👏😂
This guy is the Gordon Ramsey of blood.
“THIS BLOOD HAS SO MUCH FUCKING ACID IN IT, I’M SEEING TECHNICOLOR DEMONS!!!”
This would also explain how vampires would wind up killing people by feeding, despite the capacity of a human stomach being only enough to drink about a liter at once (or, in terms of blood loss, enough to make you pale, a bit clammy, and woozy). If they get a major artery and don’t bother to do anything to stop the bleeding, then what they don’t drink is going all over the floor.
These are both old asks, for which I am so sorry!!, but. Like. I promised myself I wasn’t going to think about it any more, or at least not until I was done with lots of things, but I LIED.
(Also, @ first anon, in my brain, it would be the other way around – Ed would do everything in his power to deter Al from enlisting, because he’d be so terrified that even if Al didn’t face brushes with death every other day in the military, the whole ideology might poison everything that makes him so very Al. I think Ed thinks he’s too cynical to be bothered by it, at least at the start, but he’d be SO worried that the guard dog gig would tear Al apart.
…but ofc Al is the only person on the planet more stubborn than he is, so even attempts to openly sabotage Al joining up would fail. XD
He would 150% try to put himself between Al and every possible source of danger, though, omfg. The armor would be beat to shit in this AU.)
ANYHOO, I have no idea how long it’s going to take me to get to writing this properly, if I ever do, so here’s a 1,400-word scene I banged out one random day in January because I just couldn’t help myself. :’|
tora42's nonsensne 