like a year ago I saw a trailer for Some Fucking Romcom where I thought for the first thirty seconds the plot was “bride asks her gay brother and his boyfriend to get heterosexual dates for her wedding”
turns out the plot actually was “bride asks her two Commitmentphobic ™ brothers to get dates for her wedding” which, lame
I like my idea, where two gay dudes and two lesbians have to pretend to be straight for an entire weekend
“I can definitely pretend to be straight,” Lesbian One says, “I successfully pretended to be a straight man for twenty years.”
“No,” her girlfriend Lesbian Two says, “no you definitely didn’t.”
Lesbian Two, who is butch, discovers an eyelash curler. “What is this, a torture device?”
Gay Guy One hooks up with the DJ, the wedding planner, three caterers and the best man. Shenanigans happen as he narrowly avoids getting caught by the bride.
Gay Guy Two, of course, finds himself falling hopelessly in love with the groom.
At the climax of the movie Gay Guy One falls out of the closet where he’s making out with his latest conquest, the florist. The bride screams, eyeliner smearing from tears, about how he’s RUINING HER WEDDING and she didn’t choose to have a brother who was QUEER and why didn’t he ever think about HER and why couldn’t he just pretend to be NORMAL for her SPECIAL DAY–
and then the wedding is called off and Gay Guy Two and the groom live happily ever after. the after-credits scene is Lesbian Two suspiciously poking her eyelids with an eyelash curler
Slytherin: Do you guys ever just get the urge to throw a really cute cat? Ravenclaw: Yeah, actually. I think it’s something to do with the cute reaction being closely related to the aggression reaction in our brains! Slytherin: That’s cool. It’s kinda like when you are standing on a ledge and you get the urge to jump. Ravenclaw: I get that feeling. It’s not like you want to jump, just that you could. Slytherin: Like I could stab myself with a knife, but I won’t. Gryffindor:
“Not all men” you’re right. Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of Ankh-Morpork, Commander of the City Watch would never do this, and he’d arrest every single bastard who would.
The remains of the oldest public library in Germany, a building erected almost two millennia ago that may have housed up to 20,000 scrolls, have been discovered in the middle of Cologne.
The walls were first uncovered in 2017, during an excavation on the grounds of a Protestant church in the centre of the city. Archaeologists knew they were of Roman origins, with Cologne being one of Germany’s oldest cities, founded by the Romans in 50 AD under the name Colonia. But the discovery of niches in the walls, measuring approximately 80cm by 50cm, was, initially, mystifying.
“It took us some time to match up the parallels – we could see the niches were too small to bear statues inside. But what they are are kind of cupboards for the scrolls,” said Dr Dirk Schmitz from the Roman-Germanic Museum of Cologne. “They are very particular to libraries – you can see the same ones in the library at Ephesus.” Read more.
Don’t confuse my hatred of the hyperwealthy for jealousy over what they have. I don’t want a six figure sports car, or a 40 room mansion, or a gold leaf truffle wagyu steak dinner. I want redistribution of wealth that allows for infrastructural support of all citizens’ basic survival needs.
tora42's nonsensne 