God forgot to give sins to the angels and thumbs to the goats, so that angels have more thumbs than they can handle, and goats have more sins. To this day goats and angels both adore and resent humankind for having BOTH thumbs AND a capacity to sin, in balanced and wieldy amounts. That’s a fact about the creation of the universe
……i can’t tell if this is shitposting or talmudic midrash
My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.
When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.
What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!
I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. 😀
She’s a German spitz – in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable – she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:
Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”
I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.
New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night:
She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.
And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.
ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe
i can’t believe that the plot to all three captain america movies was steve rogers telling the government ‘fuck you’ so he could try & save his boyfriend bucky barnes.
i deserve unrestricted access to old churches and castles i want to know all the secrets
i work in a castle and have unrestricted access and let me tell you sometimes knowing all the secrets……is worse
please share with us the secrets
what you guys want then, huh? You want royal family gossip? You wanna hear about the Duchess of York sneaking her lover into her room through a secret door? Or do you want the gross shit, like the skull stuck on the pike on top of the keep which nobody really knows how it got there but maintenance says it’s too high up to get down? Or the fact we tell kids the skeleton in the store room is ‘just a dummy’ but in reality nobody can break the grate without collapsing the wall?
Ya’ll wanna hear about the G H O S T D O G?????
I in fact want to hear all of those like way too much for it to be healthy
If you require kids to go to school by law, they shouldn’t have to pay for anything at all to be able to go there. They shouldn’t need to pay for food, books, a laptop, anything that the school gives you. If a child has to pay in any way to attend school, it’s a failure of our government to provide proper funding
This also includes transportation to and from school.
This should also include accessibility, aids and assistance for disabled children!
The worst part: You just know some deeply unpleasant person is reading this and concluding that the solution is to stop requiring kids go to school.
tora42's nonsensne 