“You’ve never shown me a high order spell,” I said.
“Really?” said Nightingale. “We must rectify that.” He took a deep breath and then, with a curiously theatrical wave of his hand, spoke a spell that was at least eight formae long.
I pointed out that nothing had happened, which prompted Nightingale to give me one of his rare smiles.
“Look up,” he said.
I did and found that above my head a small cloud, about as wide as a tea tray, was gathering. It looked like a compact mass of thick steam, and once it finished growing raindrops began to fall on my upturned face.
I ducked out from under it and it followed me. It wasn’t very fast – you could stay ahead of it with a brisk walking pace – but as soon as you stopped it would drift to halt overhead and bring a little bit of the English summer to a personal space near you.
I asked Nightingale what on earth the spell was for and he said it was a favorite of one of his masters at school. “At the time I thought he seemed inordinately fond of it, though,” he said as he watched me dodge around the atrium. “Although I must say I’m beginning to appreciate its appeal now.”
Ben Aaronovitch. Whispers Underground. p. 94.
In any other fantasy universe a level eight spell would summon a meteor shower, or the hordes of the undead, or make time itself come to a stop. In this British Urban Fantasy universe, however, wizards use level eight spells to summon mildly annoying cartoon tropes. ♥
It’s better/worse than that: per word of god, the most complicated and difficult spell Nightingale (in fact any wizard) has ever done on page in these books is this one, from the first book:
“…[the dog] swung its head from one side to the other, barking continuously until Nightingale pointed his finger at it and muttered something under his breath. The dog immediately rolled over, closed its eyes and went to sleep.”
Because in this universe, large-scale physical stuff? No big deal – it’s just momentum and force, after all. Altering brain chemistry via magic? That’s HARDCORE.
Boromir lives AU where instead of being around for the events of Two Towers and ROTK he just kind of shows up in Minas Tirith after the Ring is destroyed all bloody & bedraggled like ‘you GUYS i had to swim all the way back what the hELL’
Aragorn: *watching Boromir’s funeral boat drift away* you checked for a pulse right Legolas
Legolas, who definitely does not know how human pulses work: sure did!!
I can’t honestly believe Sam Vimes would be that good at sex but I also can’t believe that Sybil would allow him to be bad at sex so I think it all works out
Carrot is instantly and effortlessly good at sex and somehow that’s the most frustrating thing about him
Nanny Ogg has never tried to sexually please anyone except herself and it is precisely that joyous indifference that has left nearly lethally satisfied partners blinking in her mighty, bawdy wake
Hey everyone, with all this discussion around Twilight happening lately, let’s take advantage of it by signal boosting an important issue.
For those who don’t know, the Quileute tribe used in Twilight is a real, actual tribe whose stories and traditions were stolen by Stephenie Meyer and butchered to suit her racist needs. You can read more about that here.
And now, they’re asking for help. Their tribal school, and several other important locations including housing, is in a massive tsunami risk zone. In 2012, they gained a lot of their traditional land back, and they’re finally able to move from highly dangerous areas to safer higher ground. But that sort of move is expensive and slow, so they’re accepting donations to make the transition happen as quickly as possible. The tribe has received federal funding to move the school, but that’s not the only location inside of the risk zone.
The Quileute people were treated terribly by both Meyer and her fans, and we can help make up for some of that damage by helping them now.
tora42's nonsensne 