I like how the only reason Harry is able to fight the imperious curse so easily is because it hits him and he’s like “Ah I feel calm and relaxed and happy…this is wrong.”
harry: serotonin? in this economy?
“For a few brief moments I felt a genuine sense of tranquility and joy…and I knew that something Deeply Unnatural and Wrong was happening”
“Over the years, Chloe won too many titles to mention. 2001-02 Irish Overall Kata Champion, 2001 French Freestyle and Weapons Champion 1998-2000 Swiss Freestyle Champion, 1999 Traditional, Freestyle and Weapons World Champion, 1998 Traditional, Freestyle and Weapons World Champion, 1997 Traditional and Freestyle World Champion, 1996 Traditional and Freestyle World Champion, and many more Freestyle, Traditional and Weapons Champion titles through the late 90’s and early 2000’s in WKA, WAKO and FSK Championships.
After 2000 Chloe became an even bigger star. She traveled the whole world to appear with various demo teams. She worked with Daniel Sterling and Mike Chat’s XMA. Chloe also appeared in various music videos. In 2003 Chloe became a professional actress.
She holds the world record for the most scorpion kicks in one minute (39 kicks).”
Concept: “pin up” calendar of gnc lgbt women doing things like arranging ties, petting cats, sculpting pottery, reading books, grilling vegetable skewers, building furniture, just doing what women want
when i grow up i want to be a library goblin. i get paid to wander the shelves and be discovered curled up and reading in unlikely places, perhaps hissing if i am interrupted in the middle of a good part. why would a library pay for this service you ask? because it will add to the ambiance next question
So, as it’s roughly explained, the state alchemist program is a kind of “recruit potential human sacrifices” mechanism, with a side-order of “brute strength for the army”. But basically, the state alchemist title is mostly about being a researcher–given people like Shou Tucker exist, and given that the only requirement to stay a state alchemist is to submit a yearly report of your research that says “look I’m still being a useful scientist”.
So far, so far this is sensible, yeah? Father and the delightful children from down the lane are running a recruitment program for potential human sacrifices. So sure–butter them up! Give them lots of money, get them buddy-buddy with the government, and give them endless resources for research. It’s be pretty easy to trick a state alchemist in that position to open the portal if Sugar DaddyBradley is nudging them to do it.
And I’m still willing to go with this logic for the whole “draft the state alchemists into war” move. They make it pretty clear that was something of a last-ditch effort. And the blood transmutation circle around Amestris was an absolute necessity for Father’s plan. So the risk of a few state alchemists dying or resigning from your Potential Sacrifice Pool is worth it for the completion of the circle.
Now. To get to my fucking thought.
Edward fucking Elric. This fucking fight-me 12 year old troglodyte shows up to the exam and performs circle-less transmutation in front of mother fucking Bradley, demonstrating to one of the seven Actual Fucking Homunculi that he’d already opened the portal. Ed was literally prepped as a human sacrifice before he showed up to Central. A fully set human sacrifice showed up at the homunculi’s door, said “hey look what I can do!”, proved he’d opened the mother fucking portal already, and said “hey yeah hire me”. Human sacrifice, free shipping, no assembly required, handcuffs not included!
They could have just tossed Ed into a shoebox and kept him there until the Promised Day. They wouldn’t even need to make up an excuse he attacked the f u c k i n g president. That’s fucking treason babey. He’s 12, he’s an orphan, he’s from a rural town in buttfuck nowhere, he’s literally the easiest person alive to disappear.They could have arrested him for assassination crimes, kept him in gay baby jail, and just popped him out for the Promised Day
What do they do instead?! “Oh lmao this kid’s great. Let’s give him infinite money, no supervision, no governmental responsibilities, access to all our secret resources, and toss him on a train to who-the-fuck-knows-where-land”
They fucking did that
And like? They then had the audacity to be concerned when Edward “Fight Me” Elric almost got himself killed about 293 times. Just an endless game of “I thought u were watching him” from one homunculus to another when Ed fucking absconds half-way across the globe to go entice some other hostile entity into murdering him to death. That’s the whole series. Every arc is Ed baiting death while the homunculi are in the background like “:/ wish he wouldn’t do that”
This only gets worse when you consider they later learned Al opened the portal too because really?? These two stab-happy globe-trotting public menaces are 40% of your final evil plan for godhood. 40%. Almost half. You couldn’t fucking set aside a cardboard box to keep these idiots in?
We all knew Father was terrible at planning when we learned his thousands-of-years-in-the-making-plan involved him procrastinating until the last five minutes to get his last sacrifice, while he was?? playing chess in his fucking basement, I guess. But it’s like every time I think about it like really think about it I find 7 more reasons Father was a fucking shit idiot moron, king of the stupid fucking idiot club, flesh and blood founder of seven other established dumbasses, all living in their idiot hovel under central, just giving random dumbass 12 year olds infinite money, j u s t b e c a u s e.
tora42's nonsensne 