The houses as things I’ve overheard

marzipanandminutiae:

Gryffindor: “Why are you laying on the floor?” “Cause I can’t do random shit and scream ‘for the vine!’ anymore.”

Ravenclaw: “That’s stupid. Wait actually no that’s brilliant, get the watermelon.”

Hufflepuff: “Unicorns and Deadpool are my two heroes. I just spotted a shirt containing both. fUcK mE uP.”

Slytherin: “Soccer practice was great! I rammed into a racist dude and he couldn’t play. No one chastised me.”