vulgarweed:

letsgomindthestore:

suchprettypride:

I think we should make Puritan naming customs cool again, but like, updated to reflect Millenial values. So we can have names like Resistance Jones, Self-Care Williams, and I-Am-Not-Throwing-Away-My-Shot Anderson.

• I-Will-Face-God-and-Walk-Backwards-Into-Hell Watson
• Hydrate Mather
• Healthcare-Is-A-Right-Not-A-Privilege Bradford
• Body Positivity Watts
• WTF-the-Fuck Preston
• Cinnamon Roll Milton
• Y’all-Need-Jesus Henderson
• Snape-Was-Not-a-Hero Whitaker
• Battery Life Wiggins
• Reblog-If-You-Agree Bolton
• @Horse_ebooks Humphrey
• Renewable Moore
• I-Came-Out-to-Have-a-Good-Time-and-I’m-Honestly-Feeling-So-Attacked-Right-Now Rutherford
• Representation Hopkins
• Organic Hurst
• Money Cat Wallington
• Fuck-It Wentworth
• Impeachment Shepard
• Don’t-Forget-To-Like-And-Subscribe Simpson
• Consent Pimple

• I-Bless-the-Rains-Down-in-Africa Woodford
• Green Hoyle
• Social Anxiety Travers
• Kinkshame-Not Bailey

This wants to make me write the star-crossed lovers story of Snape-Was-Not-a-Hero Whitaker and Snape-Was-a-Fucking-Hero-Even-Though-He-Was-Also-an-Arsehole-Cope-With-It Fowler.

It will have a happy ending, despite everything. The wedding will be epic. The in-laws will reconcile their differences in a spectacular musical number.

They will name their kids Bob and Jane.